I hate it when people take out their unfortunate bad moods on the uninvolved. It’s unfair, and if one does actually slip, I think an apology is completely necessary. One should treat strangers just as well as one does their friends.

I moved out my big things today, finally. Everything else I have I can take care of myself - just a few boxes and my papasan chair. Also, I parallel parked and impressed myself. Luckily, I found a spot right in front of my apartment. I’m so physically exhausted right now… woke up at 6am to get the keys to my friend’s place, started loading up my car with anything I could carry without help. Man, I am a total weakling. I guess this is motivation for me to go to the gym and make some muscles. I don’t like being inept. God I’m so tired that I’m barely moving my fingers to type.

On the bright side I’m starting work on Monday! I’ve had two paid jobs before. First is yearbook, that was paid randomly at my own discretion, and second was my reader position last quarter, which had an hourly rate but a default claim of 15 hours per pay period regardless of actual hours put in. Which means this is the first time I’m actually going to be paid for work I do! Sooo exciting! I’m looking into finding a place closer to work so I don’t have to deal with one-way hour-long commutes. But I don’t really want to because I’m really looking forward to my new apartment. Eh. We’ll see if I get sick of the commute after a couple week.

Ohhh my godddd my arms are so sore from carrying boxes I’m going to go outside and relax and maybe make an appointment for a professional massage at a spa (!!!!)

I think I’m the sickest I’ve been in a long time. Nose runny, sneezy. Head hurts probably because of the continuous sniffling. Throat hurts possibly because of sleeping with my mouth open because of a stuffy nose. I’m eating lots of cold medicine and cutting class to sleep. Good news is I’ve been productive at home, finishing homework sets and work early in order to sleep. The weirdest thing about being sick is how I’m hungry all the time. Except I had an upset stomach too last night. And then I’m tired but totally awake and unable to sleep, too. I played Sims for a couple hours yesterday before realizing that I should’ve been sleeping. Oops.

It’s week 9 already, which means I start finals in a week and a half. This quarter is relatively chill - I have three exams; Only two of them are cumulative. I have two group projects, one of them was finished a month ago, one of them is progressing well. All I have to do is figure out what’s going on in 171A (Feedback Controls) and I’m pretty much set

This summer is going to be an exciting and new experience. I got an internship at Barry Controls in Burbank, and will start work in mid-June. After a two week limbo period, I’ll go home for a family reunion and vacation to Yellowstone. And then new apartment!!! I’m excited to have my own room and space. And job. And car.

Okay now I’m going to go to class then promptly return home and go to bed.

Write a one to two page self-recommendation letter. Include academic successes and whether you feel your grades are reflective of your abilities. Also include work experience, greatest strength, professional interests in Lockheed Martin, your involvement with SWE, and other qualities that will help you succeed as a student and as an engineer. *Disclaimer: I wrote this in one hour without proofreading, because it was due soon and I hadn’t originally planned on applying.

      In my three years at UCLA so far, I have taken note of the hundreds if not thousands of ways to develop my character and build academic excellence. Unfortunately, it would not be possible for me to take advantage of the extreme myriad of opportunities, and hence I have had to make sacrifices in certain aspects of my college career to foster the development of others. Despite the opportunities I may have lost, I still feel as if the choices I made have given me the best possible collegiate experience thus far. The importance of having both academia and extracurricular activities well-balanced during one’s undergraduate career has always been clear to me.
      After adjusting to college during my freshman year, I was able to quickly rise in the ranks of the clubs I was involved in. As my sophomore year began, I was appointed one of two co-editor-in-chiefs of the UCLA BruinLife Yearbook as well as the site director of the Casa Heiwa and Angelina Mentorship Program (CHAMPs). Although both groups taught me the importance of teamwork and communication, it was definitely my experience as a leader in BruinLife Yearbook that gave me the most vital knowledge that I knew would prepare me for the rest of my life.
      As editor-in-chief for two years, I was repeatedly faced with unexpected challenges. Hence I learned the importance of versatility in problem-solving. In a very time-sensitive environment, I adapted well to fluctuations of stress and pressure, and was able to produce the 2009 and 2010 BruinLife yearbooks on schedule as expected. There was a tremendous amount of responsibility on my shoulders as a student leader in the ASUCLA Student Media department, yet I was able to handle external relationships and endure through the “politics” of the system effectively. In addition to working well with liaisons outside of the department to ensure the smooth production of the yearbook, I also learned to value the connections made within our staff.
      Because of the time commitment that being part of BruinLife entailed, I was not able to focus all of my attention on academics. Although I do not regret spending more time on schoolwork and studying, I would have benefited greatly from learning to manage my time better earlier on in the year.
      Having honed my time management skills by the beginning of this year, I chose to join both the Engineering Society of UCLA (ESUC) as well as the Society of Women Engineers (SWE). In ESUC, I took on the position of assistant secretary for one term before acquiring the position of internal vice president. In SWE, I am the Webmaster-elect for the 2010 to 2011 school year. Although my duties have not yet been completely established, I hope to create a strong on-line presence for SWE next year.
      By joining groups whose main focuses pertain to my major, I hoped to be able to gain experience that would help me in my future career as an engineer. In addition to joining both engineering clubs, I also began to take electives in the field of mechanical engineering as well as conduct research under an advising professor. I was fortunately able to discover and harness my specific interests in the broad field in a short period of time. I hope to work at a large company such as Lockheed Martin which would offer room for self-development while providing guidance. Because my interests in mechanical engineering are in fluid dynamics and energy, it would be ideal for me to work in the industry for a company that has a strong connection to those topics.
      As a well rounded mechanical engineering student who is very self-motivated, I feel as if I am a good candidate for the SWE-UCLA Lockheed Martin Scholarship. In addition to being a focused individual regarding academics, I also understand and practice the use of “soft” skills such as punctual communication and leadership capabilities. These qualities and beliefs make me a unique individual who is well-suited for higher opportunities with Lockheed Martin.

I’m so proud of myself. This project was started almost exactly three years ago, and I can finally hold a deck of cards that I completely designed myself. Wow. They’ve been finished for a couple months, but have been stuck in China because of super-expensive shipping costs. They weigh about 60kg per 500 decks, and we ended up getting 1200 decks, accidentally. The company printed 500 of them on the wrong kind of paper, and fixed their mistake by printing 700 of the right kind. My dad found a co-worker that was making a trip to China, and enlisted his help to bring back a few of my poker cards. And now. They’re here. (Well, only about 20 decks are in the US now, but soon enough!)

I can’t really start selling them yet, since I don’t have access to the supply. But as soon as I do, I’ll announce it so whoever wants to can buy/ship/etc. I set up and Etsy account in case I decided to sell them online after they’re all brought back to the US. There’ll be a bit of a premium on it because of Paypal and Etsy fees. But they won’t be expensive at all - I’ve decided on $3 each or 2/$5. Cheap!!! Designed by someone you know!! I’ll even autograph it for you if you want

If you want to let me know in advance how many you want (you can even choose between normal or super-glossy), I’ll keep track and ship them out once I get them/paid. But no rush, I’m sure none of you plan on buying me out.

*This font is called Huxley Vertical - I set it and pulled prints of it for my font class two quarters ago. It might by the first font I ever purchase…maybe in the future. Things missing in this picture are not limited to the sketches of diamonds and clubs and aces in a (possibly lost) notebook and the entire deck drawn out on my dad’s old business cards. While I was looking through all these steps, I noticed a tangent that I forgot to finish (center top)… Next project: my business card.

Something funny:
Kency and I went to the NCAA Women’s Gymnastics Championships last week (which was fantastic, UCLA won) and I noticed something about the Arkansas Razorbacks’ costumes…

Looks strikingly similar to my original ace of hearts, right? That just goes to show that creativity isn’t all that rare or unique in many cases. There are so many people out there that everything is bound to be “created” more than once.

Complete photo album here.

My spring breaks while in college have been pretty fantastic so far - freshman year, I went back home to Beijing with Kency and spent the week sight-seeing and catching up with my friends that were still at ISB. Sophomore year, my family went to Rome, and I got to see a lot of the buildings that I had just learned about in my architecture & urban design class. This year, I met up with Harmony in Chicago, got to see Koh for a day, then took the train to Ann Arbor where I got to hang out with my sister and Esther. It was such a throwback to hang out with high school friends again - especially the day Koh came to Chicago, it was just like old times when the three of us used to have a great time just wandering around Beijing.

Saturday: Arrived in Chicago in the evening, had dinner at Johnny’s Grill. Tried to go up to the Hancock observatory but went to the wrong entrance and ended up at a snazzy high class restaurant that we were way too young/poor for.

Sunday: Koh flew in from Pittsburgh way early in the morning, so we picked her up from the bus station and headed to breakfast. After we ate, we planned out our super busy day (Sharon was only going to be in Chicago for a day, and we wanted to hit up all the important places). First up was the Sears (Willis) Tower, that was closed because of the bad weather - zero visibility. We went to Millennium Park to see the Bean, next. We conveniently found a Giordano’s just north of the park, so we ate there for lunch. The spinach&artichoke dip was fantastic, and the Chicago-style pizza was alright. The crust was really tasty, but it was really messy to eat. Our Chicagoan friend later told us that the thin-crust is better that the deep-dish at Giordano’s. After lunch, we went back to Millennium park to check out the Art Institute of Chicago museum. There was a Matisse exhibit that was very very complete. After AIC, we went to this huge fountain that was lamely off-season. We walked around for awhile before deciding to go to Chicago’s Chinatown for some boba. The red line superway went straight to Chinatown, and we passed by a few boba places (including a TenRen) before stepping into a random one… that seemed to be the hit place for cool Asian teenagers. I got a mango black tea that they brewed just for me. Then it was time for Koh to leave After getting back to downtown, Harmony and I rested for just a few minutes at our hotel before heading to dinner with James. We ate at some bar that I can’t remember the name of. After catching up and eating, we stopped by his (huge single) dorm that was across the street from the Chicago theater.

Monday: We slept in (relatively late) and headed to Navy Pier to check out the reconstruction of the Ferris Wheel. (It was invented for the Chicago World Fair in 1893.) We magically got to sit in cart 1, and the 7 minute ride was… alright, haha. The pier was really empty probably because of the weather and lack of tourists. We left the pier in a hurry to get to Lou Malnati’s and I accidentally left a glove on the bus. Harmony and I got a bruschetta while we waited for Carol and her friends and it was amazing. After lunch, Harmony and I went to Lincoln Park to check out the (disappointing) free zoo. On the way, we got distracted by a couture chocolate shop, where we each busted out big monies for deliciousness. After the zoo, we had nothing planned until the evening, so to kill a few hours, we went on a superway adventure. We took the southbound red line superway and got off at the most interestingly named stop, Jarvis. There was nothing in Jarvis so we got back on the northbound red line. We stopped at Loyola to eat at 5 Guys, then went back to Briar St, where we saw Blue Man Group! They were amazing.

Tuesday: We pretty much ran out of things to do in downtown Chicago after Sunday, so we headed to Oak Park to see Frank Lloyd Wright’s home and studio. It was amazing, as expected, hidden in the small ouburban city of Oak Park. After our tour, we decided that FLW was awesome enough to warrant a visit to another home of his on the U of Chicago campus. Before getting on the train, we ate at Red Hen Bread which was really tasty but a bit pricey (as expected with fresh ingredients, etc.). We dropped by a popcorn shop, Madly Pop’n, where I got Lucky Charms flavored popcorn (!!!) and Harmony got Cookies&Cream. (Apparently, flavored popcorn is a Chicago thing, as well.) After eating, we got back on the train to go to U of Chicago. We visited the on-campus Smart Museum (named after some dudes named Smart) which was not really anything interesting. We walked to the Robie House but were sad to find it closed on Tuesdays. We then headed back to downtown to catch the Willis Tower at sunset. It was pretty cool, but we got distracted and didn’t leave early enough to get to the MCA before it closed at 8. Oh, well. Next time

Wednesday: Early early morning we checked out of our hotel and got to the Amtrak station to take the train to Ann Arbor. After dropping off our luggage at my sister’s apartment, Harmony and I wandered around the quiet campus of UM. After my sister got out of class, we met up with her and then decided to get dinner at Ayaka. My sister went home while Harmony and I met up with Esther before dinner. We had boba - I got a mango slushie with boba and coconut jelly this time, nom. We just chilled awhile before meeting my sister at the restaurant. After nomming, we went to buy groceries and bake cookies at Esther’s apartment. Somehow, they came out really weird and crunchy instead of soft like they were supposed to be I had to eyeball all the measurements because nobody had measuring spoons, so maybe I didn’t put enough baking soda… After baking, we just sat around watching TV, haha.

Thursday: Harmony and I went to the Ann Arbor Hands On Museum in the morning. It was a fun science-y kids museum. Fun, but I’m not sure if I learned anything new… oh the woes of being an engineering student, haha. After the museum, we ate at Zingerman’s, an expensive Trader Joe’s style deli. I get a pulled pork sandwich, yum. After eating, we went to the UM Museum of Art, which was okay. The three of us walked around the UM campus a little more, and checked out the business school (”B-school”) and law quad, which was very east-coasty grey. We went to play at an arcade for a little bit, traded in our tickets for a whoopie cushion (hahaha) and then headed home.

Friday: Harmony left in the early morning for home. I stayed asleep and then woke up later to meet my sister on campus. I went to the Museum of Natural History on the UM campus, which was awesome enough for me to donate $5. I found my sister and then went to check of the poster displays of geo-stuff in her department. I don’t know anything about geology. I still don’t. After that, we went to eat at No Thai where this really cute guy took my order. It was really tasty, plus I got to build a house out of my carrots, which my sister ate half of. We headed back home and just chilled out for the rest of the day. I did laundry and my nails and we had a sistery long conversation

Saturday: Woke up and did nothing and then began my 10 hour transit home! At the Detroit airport, I got a sirloin steak with sweet potato fries from TGIF’s. So tasty. Flew back to Chicago for a 1.5 hour layover before catching a flight back to LA. Got home and then slept. Home sweet home

Travel notes: The 3-day CTA (Chicago Transportation Authority) pass was very very nice for $14. It lasts for 24×3 hours after first use, so we were able to use it on the morning of our 4th/last day to get to the airport. There’s also a 1-day fun pass, $5.75, that we got for Sharon. Each bus or metro ride costs $2 or $2.25, so it was definitely worth it. Also, don’t forget about the weather - it was much colder than expected in Chicago, especially the day after it snowed.

A list of things that I am unhappy with right now:
- my addiction to a certain someone
- the difficulty of my major at my school in comparison to others’
- having to wait for my hair to dry before going to bed
- the looming stress of next quarter
- the lack of understanding I have for other languages
- 11PM PDT is 2AM EDT

I
- ‘m irrationally scared of black people
- ‘m in Michigan and will be back in LA on Saturday!
- ‘ve been sick for at least three weeks. It’s persistent.
- wish the things is list #1 would go away. Or that
- would suck it up and deal
- will sorely miss being on vacation

I just have to put it out there that I think my blog design is totally cooler than this one. Although I see that he came out with his about a year before I did, but still. I did not reference this other layout, and totally made mine from scratch, thank you very much. But having seen this other layout, I guess it’s time for me to upgrade! (Next quarter’s project for sure.)

And since I’m already blogging, I may as well continue. Finals are next week… I have two on Monday, one on Wednesday. and then heading back to San Joshizzle and then Chicago with Harmony! Then I get to see my sister in Michigan yayyyyy!

I got out of bed at twelve today. It’s the first Saturday in a lot of Saturdays that I didn’t set an alarm. In fact, I decidedly put my phone on silent last night so I wouldn’t be electronically awoken. I’m on a quest to find a analog alarm clock, because there’s something about being woken up by media devices that just doesn’t feel nice.

Kency and I signed our lease for our apartment next year! It’s fantastically inexpensive and close to campus. My only woe is the tiny-ass kitchen, but alas, lots more pros cancel out that single con. And I’m confident that we can spice it up to make it nicer and more open. I’ve already started dreaming about my room and our new place (read: SHAG RUG??? TOTO CUBE LAMP?!?) but realize that it’s going to be pricey making it perfect. So here starts a self-imposed anti-spending campaign. For the future.

Also my small group of friends form ISB class of 2007 have started planning our three-year reunion! Why we chose three, I don’t know, but it’s tentatively happening HERE, NOW, UCLA. And by that I really mean this summer sometime in LA. Can’t wait to see everyone again.

And now it’s back to studying.

Last night Layla and I went to Mio Babbo’s for dinner, because we had no more food in the apartment. And then on the way back, we dropped by Whole Foods to get some Vitamin E oil (good for your skin for evening out pigments!). And they well selling daffodils for 2$/10 so of course I had to get some! And also some dehydrated organic mangoes which I haven’t tried yet. Beautiful It totally made my night, even though I knew I had some impending doom (read: EE lab) ahead of me. I named them Affodil, Baffodil, Caffodil, etc. all the way to Jaffodil, because I’m not creative enough to think of ten names at once. Especially since they will expire in like a week and a half.

After we got home, I decided that I wanted to go back tomorrow (today) and buy as many as I had containers for, because 10 daffodils is not enough, especially for so cheap! So this morning Layla and I went out to get groceries and sun mian get more daffodils. We went to Trader Joe’s first, to get veggies and stuff, and then LO AND BEHOLD. More daffodils! For 1.29$/10!!! So call me crazy, but I bought a few more

Meet the newest members of my apartment, daffodils 1-100 and A-J. That’s right, I have 110 daffodils in my apartment.

My sister called me crazy but you know what? 15 dollars can buy my happiness. So easy! I would have bought more but I don’t have any vases and I knew I didn’t have that many tall cups either. When they all bloom it’s going to be epic. And so freaking fantastic.

So I distributed them around my room for maximum exposure. When I wake up in the morning and put on my contacts, BAM! Good morning, beautiful!

And then when I’m deciding what to wear… more! I will then have to sadly leave my pretties to go to class.

But it’s okay because when I come back home I will be greeted not by homework but by more daffodils! Yay!!!

Okay. I just thought I should share my compulsiveness. I think I’m addicted to daffodils. When do they become out of season and no longer easily accessible and inexpensive? When the time comes I will just have to SAVE UP FOR NEXT SEASON. There’s no stopping me!

I play both sides of the court. I tell people not to worry about their grades, because the numbers and letters don’t define your future. I’m also a firm believer that if you go to class and understand the subject material, it’s not as important to stay up late finishing every homework problem or cramming for a test. If you truly understand, good grades will come naturally.

I think I’ve decided that both opinions are greatly flawed. Grades do matter, and it’s possible to totally understand everything a professor says and still fail a written test of that knowledge.

This quarter has been a bad one for me so far. as much as I try (which I’ll admit could be a bit more), I can’t seem to foster any interest in the subject material of three of my classes. It’s as expected, then, I guess, that I didn’t do so hot on both my midterms. (The third class I wish I could quit is a lab.)

I used to have the hopeful mindset that all it took to be successful in life was good morals and a strong conviction. A handful of standardized tests and bad test scores later, alongside my waning future on the line, it’s hard to stay retain that naivete.

I guess having aspirations make it that much harder to be content. I know I’ll at the very least graduate with a bachelor’s in engineering. Even so, having that confidence only calms me for a few minutes. Because I want to be guaranteed my future, and not knowing my options shatter the bit of comfort I’ve found during undergrad in the last three years.

According to a random sample survey (read: asking people I knew in my classes yesterday) my GPA is pathetically low. I know I’m supposed to be content knowing that I’m able to maintain a B average at a prestigious and difficut university like UCLA, especially while studying mechanical engineering, but it’s hard not to care about letter grades and grade point averages when that’s all that defines a student. My resume may have slightly more than the average student, having held a formidable leadership position with BruinLife yearbook for two years. But held against someone else’s resume with a fantastic GPA, which is the very definition if smart (even according to my book) I can’t help but feel insecure. Someone might even see my focus on extracurriculars as a fault of not being dedicated to my higher education.

I have never been and am still not good at prioritizing. There’s much more than a fine line between a good person and a successful one. I know I’m a strong individual. I tend to be relatively cognizant of the situations that surround me. But it’s hard for me to find motivation and dedication to the important things that will decidedly define my comfortable (or not) future. School leads to more school leads to work and it might just be too late for a significant improvement in the one year I have left of my undergraduate career. I’ve got to step it up now to uncloud my very obscure later. I’ll just do the best I can from here on out, right?

A Considerable Speck
Robert Frost

A speck that would have been beneath my sight
On any but a paper sheet so white
Set off across what I had written there.
And I had idly poised my pen in air
To stop it with a period of ink
When something strange about it made me think.
This was no dust speck by my breathing blown,
But unmistakably a living mite
With inclinations it could call its own.
It paused as with suspicion of my pen,
And then came racing wildly on again
To where my manuscript was not yet dry;
Then paused again and either drank or smelt –
With loathing, for again it turned to fly.
Plainly with an intelligence I dealt.
It seemed too tiny to have room for feet,
Yet must have had a set of them complete
To express how much it didn’t want to die.
It ran with terror and with cunning crept.
It faltered; I could see it hesitate;
Then in the middle of the open sheet
Cower down in desperation to accept
Whatever I accorded it of fate.

I have none of the tenderer-than-thou
Collectivistic regimenting love
With which the modern world is being swept.
But this poor microscopic item now!
Since it was nothing I knew evil of
I let it lie there till I hope it slept.

I have a mind myself and recognize
Mind when I meet with it in any guise.
No one can know how glad I am to find
On any sheet the least display of mind.

So today I was in EE110L, and as I was calibrating my Lissajous plot with the function generator off (so all there was on the oscilloscope was a tiny dot that I needed to center) and then I make a reference to Frost’s A Considerable Speck and then I came home roughly four hours later and took a shower and then realized something!

I truly appreciate my teachers form ISB a lot more than those who taught me back at Lynbrook. I guess in a class size of about 600, it just didn’t seem necessary to get close to a teacher who I would never impress in room of 35 students. At ISB, there were never more than 20 students in a classroom, when a maximum of 50 students were taking each subject. I got to know my teachers, and they got to know me. It definitely was a different environment to go back and visit ISB after I graduated. When I visit Lynbrook, the only teacher I chat with is Mr. Kitchen, my Japanese teacher form sophomore year. And he probably doesn’t remember what I was like in his class. Likely, he knows me only from the things we talk about when I visit. At ISB, I definitely know that my chemistry and English teachers will remember me as the student I was, to which they’ll add on my post-high school self.

Maybe it was a product of the IB system where each IB class lasted two years. Having Mrs. Carlson and Mr. Beckstead really defined my view on English and chemistry now. If I hadn’t been exposed to their enthusiasm for their subjects for two years each, I wouldn’t have as much interest in the subjects today. And I definitely wouldn’t make the intelligent literary references I do now nor would I want to continue studying chemistry if it weren’t for those teachers.

I guess what I’m saying is that we’re all a product of our experiences and exposures. Maybe my private school experience gave me major advantages I just didn’t think about until today. Teacher-student relationships are such a big deal - I’m thankful to have experienced a glimpse of what all education should be like.